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Don't Pull Into The Friend Zone With Girls You Want To Date

Archive for February 2010

The Friend Zone – According To Wiki

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The friend zone (or friendship zone) is a popular psychology concept found in many pseudo-psychology texts geared towards a male audience about “dating advice.” It refers to the situation where the female has begun to view a male as a friend only and not a potential suitor, a psychological classification supposedly exceptionally difficult to undo.

Sex columnist Catherine Townsend cites a feared loss of romance and mystery as well as a fear of rejection. On the other hand, Cosmopolitan magazine notes that in a 2001 Match.com survey, 71% of respondents hoped that they would fall in love with a friend. It has also been suggested that women may also become victims of the “friend zone”.

Popularization

The term friend zone was popularized by a 1994 episode of the television sitcom Friends, where the character Ross Geller, lovesick for Rachel Green, was labeled “Mayor of the Friend Zone”. The question of whether a man can ever “escape ‘The Friend Zone’ and begin dating one of his female friends” was key to what made the Ross and Rachel pairing on the show a “geek dream couple”.

The TV show Scrubs uses the term “the friend zone” on the episode “My Best Friend’s Mistake” in Season 1. J.D. explains that once something important, a turning point, occurs between a guy and a girl, they have 48 hours to do something about it or else the guy will be stuck in the girl’s “friend zone” forever. J.D. doesn’t get to finish kissing Elliot in 48 hours, so he enters a hospital room called “Friend Zone” with a room full of guys who used to like Elliot, but Elliot didn’t like them back in the same way.

The 2005 film Just Friends also deals with the “friend zone” and how it impacts on the main character of the film (played by Ryan Reynolds) when he re-unites with his female friend from high school (played by Amy Smart) for the first time in 10 years after an incident at a high school graduation party at her home in which she said that she loves him “like a brother”, dashing any hopes of him having her as a girlfriend.

Written by beshleman

February 20, 2010 at 9:48 am

Posted in Uncategorized

You’re Just A Friend If…

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Friend Zone

YOU’RE JUST A FRIEND IF…

You hear phrases like: “I can talk to you about anything,“ “You‘re really a nice guy,” “You‘re like a brother to me,” “You‘re my best friend,” and “You understand me” (unlike the Bad Boy she’s currently bopping).

You finally work up the courage to ask her out and she tells you: “I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship,” “I like you too much to go out with you,” “I don’t want to risk losing what we have,” and so on.

She tells you all about her problems with men.

She asks you for advice about the men she’s attracted to.

She tells you excitedly, “I just met this really great guy!”

Why you get trapped in the Friend Zone and how to avoid it…

WHY IT HAPPENS

How does a man get trapped in the Friend Zone? There are four main reasons.

She’s not attracted to you

Oh, sure, she finds you funny, charming, fun to be with — but you just don’t rock her world. Short of a new hairstyle and wardrobe (or maybe reincarnation), there’s not a lot you can do about this, so don’t kid yourself. Sometimes it’s just the way it is. If she‘s just not into you, you have a choice to make: Either stay as her friend or blow her off for more productive territory.

You don’t have the goods

When it comes to choosing men, sometimes the number one priority for most women is money. If you don’t have it (or enough of it), odds are you’ll be immediately dumped into the Friend Zone.

You’re a doormat

She has relegated you to friend status because you’re way too nice, too accommodating and too booty-kissing. She knows she can have you just by snapping her fingers. You follow her around like a moon-eyed puppy dog. You try to impress her. You think you can buy her attention with flowers, gifts and expensive meals. You are a wuss and she can’t wait to castrate you and make you her best girlfriend who’ll look after her pets while she goes running off for the weekend with a tattooed biker.

She’s a psycho

She’s been abused or brutalized by the Bad Boys she’s voluntarily chosen to date (and she blames her bad choices on the men themselves, of course), so now she can’t even begin to establish a normal relationship with a normal guy. These women are famous for aggressively flirting with a man, then reacting with horror when he comes on to her (“I thought we were friends”). The only male a psycho can psychologically deal with is a nonsexual “friend.”

HOW TO AVOID IT

Is there any way to escape the Friend Zone? It’s not easy, but not impossible. Here are a few tips.

Make yourself scarce

Stop acting like her puppy dog and don’t be so available. Don’t get together with her at the drop of a hat. Wait a day or two to return one of her phone calls. Be a challenge, not a doormat.

Start dating other women

In other words, make her jealous. If she has any romantic interest in you at all, this will drive her crazy.

Ask her for advice about the women you’re dating

Openly talk about other women and how hot they are. Ask her for advice about what women want in a man and how you can get close to these women.

Tell her you want to be “just friends”

She isn’t stupid — she’s known all along that you want to jump her bones, so if you reject her sexually, she won’t be able to stand it.

Start treating her like a girlfriend

Ask her out on dates. Take her to romantic places. Put your arm around her.

If she responds romantically, be challenging

Keep her off balance. Be a challenge. Be unpredictable. Keep her guessing. Never let her think that she’s got you by the cojones. There’s a huge difference between wanting her and needing her — she’ll react a lot differently around you if she thinks you could leave her at any time for another pretty face.

AVOID THE DEAD-END ZONE

Get out there and get em’ tiger. Stay out of that friend zone, or get out of the one you’re in (it’s not getting you anywhere). Good luck!

Written by beshleman

February 20, 2010 at 8:14 am

Posted in Uncategorized

Yeah you’re hot, but what else do you do?

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The Stern Approach:

Expressing enthusiasm for a woman’s outer appearance while examining her character in a teasing and challenging way. Used as a means to diffuse the power of a beautiful woman.

*Disclaimer: The author of this blog neither approves of or endorses Howard Stern in any way.

Written by beshleman

February 5, 2010 at 4:07 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

You can’t park here!

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The friend zone is a concept that most guys don’t fully understand. They get the concept, but not the reasons why they have been friend zoned.

Guys, it’s not rocket science, a plumber can figure this out. To prove it, we’re going to go back to some of the lessons that we learned while we were a kid. And what other way to go back to childhood memories to remember the lessons we learned?…Mario Brothers…….

Mario is going to help us guys go in the right direction. Mario has never steered us wrong, and he won’t in this situation either.

First of all, guys need to understand that being in the “friend zone” and the “relationship” constitute two different altitudes and situations that are buildings part. Please refer to picture for more information. Ever tell a girl you liked her and only to have her have the reaction of “WOAH…………didn’t see that one coming”. Yeah that’s why, buildings apart.

Getting into the friend zone is probably the easiest thing one can get into. Girls for the most part are pretty friendly and receptive to making new friends. Unless they’re obnoxious, ditsy, or stuck up, then you wouldn’t want to be their friend anyway(unless you’re into that). As long as you offer some type of value and you’re not a narcissistic jerk, a guy will can get himself into the friend zone pretty easily.

5 ways to find out if you’re in the friend zone.

1) Are you challenging her? Women like a challenge, if you don’t pose some type of challenge whether it be intellectually, emotionally, physically etc. then really, what is the purpose of your existence? You’re in the friend zone if you’re not challenging her.

2) Are you a leader or a follower? If you don’t take control of situations and you let the girl make all the decisions then it shows that you’re incapable of being the lion in the den. You’re in the friend zone if you’re a follower.

3) Do you always give her what she asks for? You’re in the friend zone if you always give her what she wants.

4) Everytime she wants to do something or meet up, are you always there? You’re in the friend zone if you make yourself always available to her. You have to have the confidence to turn her down and say no, “I’m busy”.

5) Are you flirting with her to point that she reciprocates? You’re in the friend zone if she doesn’t flirt with you. Big FLAG.

I can’t speak to the time interval or process in which girls make the division between friend zone and relationship. However, a woman will always put a guy into a these buckets when they first get to know them: 1) guy I’ll never see again but was nice to meet 2) guy who needs to get lost because he’s annoying 3)potential friend 4)potential relationship etc.

But the problem starts when a guy who has been friend zoned attempts to make the jump to the relationship stage. Mainly because the guy thinks that the girl is sending out enough signals to indicate that she’s interested. This individual is brave. Now I’m not saying this can’t be done, but if it is going to be attempted, you might want to make sure that you get the mushroom or the fireball flower before you make the jump, translation: you need all the power in the world to succeed in what you’re trying to do.

Just look at the angle and level of inclination that Mario has to jump to move from one stage to the other. It’s no doubt that the failure rate approaches 90%. 9 times out of 10, this is going to fail.

So you want to know why you can’t get out of the friend zone?

Because you got in it in the first place. Sad, but true. Think of it as detention: you did something wrong so you need to be isolated from the other people who are doing things right.

If you have failed the 5 points above, but still decide that you want to be brave…..there is still one more validation point that you should go through.

If you’re seriously thinking about making the move, I want you to step into Mario’s shoes. I want you to find two objects that differ by 2 metres in height and 3 metres in length; similar to the Mario picture. And I want you to physically make the leap. If you can pull this jump off, I give you the go ahead to make the leap from friend to something more………

Disclaimer: This blog is not liable for any injury that may be the result of you 1) Attempting to move from the friend zone to the relationship and have your heart shattered 2) making leaps between two objects and causing severe bodily harm.

Written by beshleman

February 5, 2010 at 2:37 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

Don’t do it!

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St. Bernhard Complex:

The incorrect assumption that displaying nice, good, and loyal behavior to a woman increases her level of attraction to you.

Always Remember Your Goal

Until you know she is genuinely attracted or you have established a physical relationship (ie kissing, holding hands, etc…) with her, you have nothing to prove. Remember, your goal is to be in her life as a partner, not a trusted pet who responds to her every beck and call (unless you like eating from her hand, wearing a leash, and eventually rolling over and playing dead – when she ditches you for the guy she really wants…the lone wolf).

Written by beshleman

February 5, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Posted in Uncategorized